The Easy Way Out

During college, I worked at a little hometown grocery store. One day I was helping the manager set up endcap displays for the weekly sales items. I don’t remember what it was I did wrong, but I remember him coming up to me after I finished. The look on his face made it clear I’d messed up. He corrected my mistake, explained what I should’ve done (for probably the third time), and said, “You like to do things the hard way, don’t you?”

Even though I can’t recall where my efforts went wrong with that display almost thirty years ago, I remember those words like they were said yesterday.

I’ve been struck by something lately. Not a bolt of lightning or the Coronavirus, but something serious nonetheless.

Sometimes we’re too quick to take the easy way out.

Doing something the HARD way isn’t always a bad thing.

It’s human nature to choose what looks easiest on the surface, right? Naturally, we don’t WANT to walk a quarter of a mile from a mall parking space if we can find one up front. We don’t WANT to get off the couch to discipline a misbehaving child if we’re in the middle of a really good book. We don’t WANT to make a healthy meal for the family if Domino’s has a $5.99 special.

But there are lessons and benefits in the hard way, friends.

Walking a quarter of a mile has health benefits. Disciplining your child has spiritual benefits. And making healthy meals for your family has benefits beyond measure.

“Taking the easy way out is the habit of a lazy man, and it will be his downfall.”

 Proverbs 21:25-26

In previous Facebook posts and blogs, I’ve alluded to the fact that our family is dealing with a lot right now. We have five children and, the Lord knows, they are far from perfect. Each day brings new trials. From a toddler with no clue how to self-regulate to his parents who often fail miserably with their own shortcomings. Throw in the nine-year-old and the three teenagers and, well, there are hard days.

A few particular struggles are heartbreaking. We could take the easy way out though. We could throw up our hands and accept the sin. We could say, “well, this child is just a product of their past”, or “that’s just how this child is wired. We can’t change that.” It’s often easier to accept the sin and cave to what the world says is acceptable.

But you know what? JESUS is worth doing things the hard way.

“…let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:1a-2

This week, in particular, I’m struck with the weight of my own sin. In the days leading up to Good Friday and Easter, I’m reminded of how much Jesus loves me. His death and resurrection are the foundation of my faith. Jesus chose to fulfill His Father’s plan and die on the cross to take my judgment upon Himself. I’d hardly call that taking the easy way out.

So, why are we so quick to take the easy way out in something so important as our parenting?

Friends, if you’re a Christian parent, you should be girded with truth, prepared for battle. Satan is aiming flaming arrows at our children and we can’t afford NOT to do battle the hard way.

Many of my friends appear to face the same struggles we are facing. Unfortunately, I see, all too often, parents choosing to throw in the towel and move on. My prayer for you and for me is that we will seek to line up with the will of God in all things, in all battles. Let us be persistent in teaching, modeling, and living out the Gospel in front of our children.

If you are prone to taking the easy way out, take this week to look at the days leading up to Christ’s death and resurrection. Let’s partner with Him in doing things the hard way!

Real Life

One of my best friends emailed me the other day. 

Her words were biting. 

It wasn't that she said anything rude or mean. Rather, she wrote about how my life looks so perfect on Facebook and how God has richly blessed my family. We now live almost 500 miles apart, so we mainly keep up on Facebook and via email. She doesn't see the every day life of Kari Whaley. The Lord used her words to convict me. 

Am I being fake?

If people think my life is perfect (or even remotely close), then the answer is YES.

I emailed my friend back immediately. The last thing I wanted was for her to think it's all sunshine and roses around here. What good does that do anybody? I'm not looking to make anyone envious, and I'm certainly not trying to display a fabricated view of what my life is like.

So, let me tell you, the Whaley family covets your prayers.

We're in difficult times right now. I'm not referring in any way to COVID-19. I'm talking TEENAGERS. And TWO YEAR-OLDS. And FINANCES.

One of us is struggling with a bad temper. One of us is struggling with temptation. One of us is struggling with lying. One of us is struggling with a desire to be the center of attention. One of us is struggling with a loss of close friendships. One of us is struggling with guilt. One of us is struggling with the feeling of failure. And, if I'm completely honest, it's utter chaos around here the majority of the time.

I would be disloyal if I went into great detail, but take my word for it, this life is hard.

After I responded to my friend with the truth, her response was, "I guess I just figured that having a pastor as a father that they would just all behave perfectly." No, friends. NO. If anything, Satan has his sights directly set on this humble, two-story home.

Last night was a tough night. One child's struggle with sin was once again brought to light and it felt like our world was crumbling around us. Tears were shed and I felt like my hope for this next generation was completely consumed. 

Listen, friends. I still wouldn't change a thing. My Lord blessed me greatly with these children and with my amazing husband. I trust His wisdom and I trust that He has a purpose in all things. I have an unwavering HOPE because of Him. I know that my Father goes before me and knows each day before I live it. He has orchestrated every moment of my life--including the suffering and the temptation. 

All this is to say, please don't look at my Facebook page (or anyone else's) and think we've got it all together. It's just not true. The truth is that I spend many nights crying myself to sleep because of my children. I spend many nights awake at 2 am because fear for their future nearly devours me. In all honesty, I lie awake many nights because I'm broken by my own sin and shortcomings.

So when you see my next casual post regarding my children or my family, pray for us. Lift us up to the One who sees and knows our every blemish and our every wound.

Kari