Ain't That Peculiar

Here I sit.

I have a little over a week until my job with the company I've served for 8 years ends. ENDS.

In the midst of it all, there's something peculiar about the way I feel today. I guess that's the right word. It's peculiar because it's not something I expected. At all.

I feel peace.

 

I didn't feel it a week ago. I didn't feel it two days ago. I feel it today. 



"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Your heart must not be troubled or fearful."

John 14:27

Understand, I have a lot of reasons to be worried. I have no real job opportunity lined up. Our savings will be depleted. The joy and convenience of working from home will no longer be my reality. Reasons to be fearful are piling up, accumulating like the dust on my stove (wink wink). I'm most likely looking to be unemployed for the first time in my life with no promise of a new job on the horizon. It's not something I'm looking forward to.

But......
My hope isn't in my next job. My hope isn't in the assurance of something better to come. There might not BE something better in my future.

My only hope is in the knowledge that there is a sovereign hand at work. I expect nothing but what is right for Him to give. That being said, I trust Him with what it is to come. He is still good.

"Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him."

Psalm 62:5

 

 

This peace has been a long time coming. I've had a lot of people tell me over the course of the last five weeks, "This might end up being the best thing that ever happened to you." It got to the point that each time I heard those words I wanted to say, "Really? How about if I reach out my hands and strangle you? Would that be the best thing that ever happened to YOU?"  Don't get me wrong. I know people meant well. But at the time, it was the last thing I wanted to hear. Now I look back at the last five weeks and realize it's ALREADY been a blessing in a strange way. I've been able to take a day off every week due to company pay cuts across the board and I've felt less stressed about my job. I guess I lived with the fear of losing my job for so long that now it almost feels like a weight has been lifted.

I honestly can't understand how anyone can live this life without the hope of Christ. In the light of day and deepest darkness of night I know He has my back.

 

"I look up to the mountains;

does my strength come from mountains?

No, my strength comes from God,

who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

He won't let you stumble,

your Guardian God won't fall asleep.

Not on your life! Israel's

Guardian will never doze or sleep.

God's your Guardian,

right at your side to protect you--

Shielding you from sunstroke,

sheltering you from moonstroke.

God guards you from every evil,

he guards your very life.

He guards you when you leave and when you return,

he guards you now, he guards you always."

Psalm 121

My God doesn't sleep. My God offers hope and a peace that surpasses all understanding. I'm giving up some control and learning to accept the peace He offers. Now, for me, THAT is peculiar.