Friday, October 19, 2012

Turning 40.....

"I said, 'You are my servant'';
I have chosen you and have not
rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous
right hand."
Isaiah 41:9b-10
This past week was a tough one.  I never thought turning 40 would hit me this hard.  Physically, it's been rough.  I've been feeling it for the last 10 months or so.  Pain in the knees, hips.. even in my toes!  But, this past Saturday, the day before my 40th birthday, it hit me hard mentally.  I was in a funk the entire day.  I was fearful as far as what the next 40 years (assuming I will have that many) would hold.  I had to simply remember that the future and the here and now are both in God's hands.  I wrote this poem tonight while trying to destress from a stressful week...

I stand in the light, yet the shadows surround me,
 Obscurity draws fleeting fears.
Confusion, bereft of a focus upon Thee
 Yields faintness of heart and despair.
This lack of fullness in the kinship I claim
 Engenders distress and dismay.
Longing for calm in this restless abode
 My soul thirsts for strength in Thine sway.
Lord, shoulder mine doubt and consume mine unease,
 Uphold me and carry mine woes.
Illumine mine life with the truth of Thine Word,
 I trust Thee; Thou art mine repose.
Kari W. Whaley
October 2012

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